True Love, Pure Obsession
by LKasumi
Summary: Ellie and Ashley don't want to face the truth..they like eachother. Ashley is going through an internal conflict and Ellie is obsessive..maybe too much. [LAST two chapters will be up SOON!!!]
1. Unbearable Secret

I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI!!!!!! But this is still my story...  
  
___________________  
  
True Love, Pure Obssesion  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
  
Ellie slowly walked past the school grounds. Behind her was Ash, watching her..She was getting this crazy feeling whenever she was around Ellie..or even when she thought of her. It was so strange..she wondered, 'why do I keep on having these thoughts about us..? This is so unlike me...' She closed her eyes and shook away the awkward images.  
  
Ellie looked back and raised a brow, "What's wrong with you? You've been acting so strange lately.." She stopped and examined her face. Ash had started getting bags under her eyes, she couldn't sleep and thought only about Ellie. She lifted her eyes from off the ground and lied, "I...I've been really busy with homework....I mean, with all the school projects and all..." 'That so did not sound like something I'd say...' she thought to herself. Ellie looked at her suspiciously, but soon changed the subject.  
  
*Later that night. Location: Ellie's home.*  
  
Ellie lay down on her bedroom floor, gazing up at her ceilling..She twirled her finger in her long, thick hair. She tilted her head and sighed.. 'Ash....I don't know whats happening with me...I..I...I think I kinda like you..." She thought about her for hours..She sometimes said the words "I love you Ash" out loud, she knew no one could hear her..but it felt good to let it out.  
  
She crawled up on her bed and curled up like a scared little girl. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed and sobbed until slumber finally overcame her body..  
  
*End of chapter one* 


	2. Nothing But The Truth

I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI!!!!!! But this is still, my story.  
  
___________________  
  
True Love, Pure Obsession  
  
Chapter Two  
  
*Location: Ashley's Home*  
  
The next morning, Ashley woke up..Once again, she had one of those weird dreams that gave her awkward feelings and   
  
sensations. They left her speechless. She got up and stretched, "time for ANOTHER boring day.." she said out loud....'at   
  
least it'll be spent with...Ellie..' even her name gave her shivers. She walked towards her closet and picked out her nicest  
  
clothes. She was going to wear a black V shaped shirt, with tight leather pants with a long, black knitted 'jacket' (Im not sure   
  
if you get me....) over the ensemble. She wanted to look good...  
  
She looked at the clock near her bed and thought to herself, 'I better hurry up if I don't want to be late...No time for fooling around..'  
  
She quickly changed and applied her makeup. Some black mascara, black eyeliner, sparkly purple glitters over her eyes and her  
  
usual black lipstick. She was running out and needed to buy some more..'I'll buy some with my allowance later, after school...if I have   
  
time..'  
  
She took her books from her desk and shoved them in her school bag. She then headed downstairs for some breakfast..  
  
*Location: Ellie's Home*  
  
One hand with a toast, the other trying to quickly finish math homework, Ellie quickly scribbled numbers. She took a bite  
  
from her toast and shoved her finished homework in her school bag. She yelled out to her mom 'see ya' and was off out the door.  
  
She rang at Ashley's door and waited, hand on hip. A few moments later, Ashley greeted her at the door and told her to come in.  
  
They still had about 10-15 minutes to spare before leaving for school. They both headed up in Ash's room. Ellie sat on her bed   
  
and bounced up and down for a few seconds. She grinned.  
  
Ashley wasen't smilling. She looked out her door, left and right and closed it shut. She made sure no one was around for what she  
  
was going to tell Ellie.  
  
"El...." she said, looking down at her boots. Ellie tilted her head, looking at her, "What's wrong Ash....?" she pretended to act casual..  
  
hiding her true feelings.  
  
"There's something I have to tell you...I mean, were best friends..we have to tell eachother everything...I lied to you.." Ellie's heart raced,   
  
she couldn't take all the pressure. She had to tell her..  
  
Ashley shut her eyes tight and thought to herself, 'what am I doing? I could risk our friendship here...I gotta lie again...oh I hate this..'.  
  
She blurted anything out, anything but the truth, "I still like him.."  
  
Ellie's jaw dropped, "WHAT?" 'I'm making it too obvious...' "I mean, why didn't you tell me sooner?" Ellie tried to hide her dissapointment..  
  
She just felt like dropping to her knees and sobbing. Ashley continued..lieing and listing reasons why she didn't..She felt so bad in the end.  
  
'I can't believe I just said those things....I can't believe I just lied to my BEST friend...I feel so ashamed..I don't deserve her..'  
  
Ellie stopped listening, she was filled with mixed emotions..anger, jealousy, envy...She hated her for liking someone else..How could she do   
  
that to her?! She had thought they werent the kind of girls to get all mushy and gushy about some guy...She was wrong..she was totally wrong..  
  
Ellie and Ashley made their way to school, one felt betrayed, the other felt ashamed... 


	3. Feelings

I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI!!!!!! But this is still, my story.  
  
___________________  
  
True Love, Pure Obsession  
  
Chapter Three  
  
*Location: Homeroom*  
  
Ellie couldn't think straight for the whole period..she kept on thinking about how   
  
Ashley could have lied to her about still likeing her ex-boy-  
  
friend. She clutched her pencil in her hang tight. 'He's got to pay...'   
  
Ashley spaced out for most of the period...she ignored questions directed to her and   
  
ended up getting a D.T. for misbehaving..Her feelings became unbearable and she decided  
  
she was going to tell Ellie, that day and that she would NOT chicken out..no way, not   
  
this time..She vaguely heard the bell ring and got up and took her books to her locker.  
  
She thought over and over about what she would tell Ellie..The words she would use..Then  
  
she thought, 'How is she going to react to all of this? I have to be true to her..I can't  
  
lie..Best friends tell eachother everything..' she nodded firmly and heard the bell. She   
  
hurried up to grab her books and she was off to her next class..  
  
***  
  
It was lunch time and Ashley got Ellie to follow her in the girl's bathroom. Luckily, no one was in there..everyone was outside..enjoying the   
  
sun. Ashley took a deep breath and managed to say, "Look...I was lieing...I don't like HIM anymore..It was just an excuse...I haven't been  
  
bothered by homework...The reason I said all of that was because..." *she shut her eyes tight*, "Ellie...I think I love you..."  
  
Ellie's heart raced once again, she got a huge wave of mixed sensations come over her. She stood there for a few seconds.."I....I..." She   
  
then leaned forward and kissed Ash. It was the most pationate and anticipated kiss she ever gave...and it was her first. For once, she   
  
felt love..she had always wondered...how it felt, yet, she made fun of those who experienced it..  
  
Ashley's arms locked around Ellie and she kissed her back, a huge load had been taken off her shoulders..finally, her secret was out... 


	4. Old Self

I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI!!!! But this is still my story...  
  
________________  
  
True Love, Pure Obsession Chapter 4  
  
*Location: School Bathroom.*  
  
After a few seconds in their kiss, they heard someone walking towards the girl's bathroom door. They both backed away from eachother and pretending to be doing something else. Paige walked in, looking more stressed than usual. She walked towards both girls and said, "Oh..my god...I just broke my new sunglasses..I mean, everything happens to me.." She looked at Ashley, then she looked away, "Uhhh...by the way..I just want to thank you for the song you wrote...you know, for PMS...". She washed her hands and stuffed her sunglasses in her hot-pink purse. "Well.....bye.." she said giving a slight wave. Just as she walked out, both girl (Ellie and Ashley) looked at eachother. The bell rang. They decided to meet later at Ashley's house. They had to talk about the situation.  
  
*Location: (After School) Corner Store.*  
  
Ashley walked up and down the makeup aile. She was amazed at the quantity of beauty products they had. There were so many colors, sparkles..shades. She squinted her eyes to focus on one section of the aile..the lipstick. She saw them all...all the colors of the rainbow. They had some yellow, some forest green, purple, orange...they weren't missing anything....exept maybe some black... She gave off an annoyed sigh and crossed her arms. She mumbbled curses under her breath and walked away empty handed.  
  
*Later That Day, Ashley's Home*  
  
*Both Ellie and Ashley are upstairs, in Ashley's room.*  
  
None spoke, Ellie tried to make it easier by discussing Paige's odd behavior in the bathroom. Ashley didn't speak, she just sat on the ground, leaning against her door. This never happened before...This feeling...towards a girl. Even the thought of what happened at lunch made her want to cry. She didn't want it to be like this. She wanted to be normal..Like the other kids in her school. She didn't want to be made fun of..Maybe there was a way for both of them to forget what happened...  
  
"Ummm..Ash......what do we do?" Ellie spoke softly..she saw Ashley starting to cry..But she made no comments.  
  
Ashley looked at her, her mascara leaking, "I don't want it to be like THIS! I want to be like before..I wanna go back!!" She hugged her knees tight to her chest and continued crying silently. Ellie stood up and sat beside her best friend, "Shhh...Its ok..We'll just pretend it never happened.." It hurt her to say those words, she felt tears comming to her eyes but resisted. She was a big girl, and there was no need to cry. She hugged Ashley and continued to reasure her.  
  
Ashley fell asleep, and Ellie left. She woke up in the middle of the night, she was laying down on her bed. Ashley got up and changed into her pjs. Then, before she went back to bed, she opened her closet and took out a big box that was behind everything. She brought it close to her and opened her flashlight. She opened it and inside was all her old belongings. Her bright summery clothes..sparkling pink makeup..everything that had belonged to her, everything she wanted to go back to. She searched deep in the box and took out an old friend, a teddy bear she owned since she was a small child. She hugged it and went back to bed.. 


	5. Black Lipstick

I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI!!!! But this is still my story...  
  
________________  
  
True Love, Pure Obsession Chapter 4  
  
*Location: Ashley's Room.*  
  
Ashley woke up the next morning feeling weak. She remembered she haden't eaten supper because she fell asleep. Her mother probably didn't want to wake her up. She noticed she hadn't been getting too much sleep lately. Ashley sat up on her bed and rubbed her eyes. She thought for a moment what to do....She was so confused she didn't think straight. Then, she remembered what had happened during the last 3 days. She was about to cry again but she heard her mother calling up to her to wake up.  
  
"I'm awake mom!!" she yelled back. She got up and looked at the box she had took out yesterday night. She took out some clothes and went and change. She sat down at her desk and pulled her makeup box towards her..Nothing but dark colors...She looked back at her carton box and pulled out a bright pink bag. She looked inside. There were bright pink lipsticks, expensive lipglosses, bright eyeshadow etc etc.. She put on her usual black eyeliner and mascara and then took out a shiny light pink tinted lipstick and applied it then she added some lipgloss. She got up and went to stare at herself in her full body mirror. She had put on a pair of bellbottom jeans with a babyblue shirt that read in big bold letters, "DON'T STARE....too much..". She then said outloud, "This is..me...". She walked downstairs to go eat some breakfast, man was she starving! Her mom had left for work already so she was safe for now..No one saw her transformation.  
  
After eating a whole bagel and a full glass of orange juice, Ashley grabbed her school bag and was headed off the door.  
  
*Location: Degrassi C.H..*  
  
When Ashley walked in through those school doors, she felt rejected even more. She felt everyone's eyes on her. Everyone was questioning her, "Why this sudden change?". She didn't say a word. She went to her locker and opened the lock. Ellie had spotted her and ran towards her, "This is what you mean by nothing happened?! Are you crazy?! What are you doing?! Why are you dressed like that?! You are so going to be the main headline in today's gossip you know that?!" she continued talking angrily.  
  
"Look...we need to talk..and this time I mean it." Ashley dragged Ellie towards the girl's washroom pushing everyone out of her way. She was angry. Why couldn't everyone just leave her alone?! She was going through some rough times here!  
  
The bathroom seemed empty so Ashley started talking.. "You know, its not easy just finding out Im bi! Ok? Its hard for me..and I just want it to stop! I don't want to be like that.." she said the word "that" with much disgust, "I want to be normal..I want to be liked..I hate being HATED! Do you understand?! I want to go back.." Ellie looked at her, speechless (for once..haha).  
  
Ellie's voice started shaking, her eyes got red and tears came to her eyes, "It's not all happening to you! Ok?! There's me too! You're thinking its easy for me? No wait a minute, YOU'RE NOT EVEN THINKING ABOUT ME! This problem isent only about you ASHLEY! Its concerning me too!" Ellie wiped away her tears and reached for something in her pocket, "Here, you were out..But Im guessing you're not using that color anymore.." Ellie dropped some black lipstick on the bathroom floor and ran out of the girl's bathroom. She was furious and heartbroken.  
  
Ashley stood there. She sat on the floor and looked at the lipstick. The plastic top had broken off. It was cracked and broken into two. 


	6. Real Friends Don't Tell

I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI!!!! But this is still my story...  
  
________________  
  
True Love, Pure Obsession Chapter 6  
  
*Location: School Halls.*  
  
Ellie ran past everyone and pushed them out of her way. They all stared at her in disbelief. Marco put his hand on her shoulder and said, "Let's go.."  
  
They both made their way outside the school without being followed. They decided not to go to school that day, and just sit somewhere and get everything on Ellie's mind out. Marco sat down on a park bench and Ellie did the same. "What's going on?" asked Marco, looking at her gorgeous face. "I don't know..I mean, its Ashley..and me..." she looked away, then back at him. He knew. He hugged her, for a long time may I add. He liked her..no, he loved her. He pulled back and said softly, "I have to tell you something El...I like you..I really, really like you.." Ellie's eyes filled with even more tears and she gave him a smirk. She knew she liked him..well..thought she did, oh she was so confused. She hated this so much. She just wanted it to stop..ALL OF IT. She cried some more and hugged Marco again. She felt safe in his arms. He was there for her..He was.. She looked at him, closed her eyes and leaned forward to kiss him.  
  
*Location: School Bathroom.*  
  
Ashley sat there, confused...hated and rejected. She took the lipstick and put it in her purse. She heard someone behind her. Paige came out of one of the toilet stalls. She walked slowly next to Ashley, thinking about what to say. She took out some blush and applied it while speaking, "I heard...don't worry..I'm not here to say anything mean..." she rolled her eyes, "Surprisingly." she put away her blush and took out eyeshadow, "I think you should tell Ellie you're sorry. Its your only chance." she put away all her things and stared at Ashley, "I think she might really like you..." She walked to the bathroom door but stopped and looked back, "Don't worry..I won't tell..Real friends don't.." she smiled and walked out.  
  
Ashley stood there, looking at herself in the mirror. All she had to do was say sorry. She nodded to herself and walked out of the bathroom, and out of the school. No one roamed the halls anymore, the bell had rung. She didn't care, she had something to do..something so important.  
  
Ashley wandered around the school yard, no one. The bus stop, no one. The nearby park....She looked around and saw no one but a dog and its master playing fetch and this couple kissing on a bench. She squinted her eyes and walked closer. WHAT?! That was Ellie! She looked closer, AND MARCO! She was furious and jealous. She walked up to them and said, "Well..Ellie, I hope youre happy.." she glared at them and ran off. 


	7. Cry For Help

I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI!!!! But this is still my story...  
  
________________  
  
True Love, Pure Obsession Chapter 7  
  
*Location: Park.*  
  
Ashley ran, she ran as fast as she could. She got home, luckily her mom was still at work, and jumped on her bed. She buried her face in her pillows and cried. After a few minutes she got up and walked to the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror. She looked dead. Dark cricles formed around her eyes. She felt dried up, she cried all the tears in her. She felt weak and worthless...but, she felt inspired.. Ashley ran to her desk and sat down. She took out some paper and a pen and started to scribble:  
  
"I want to hide: I feel no pride, I feel weak: no strenght to speak...."  
  
She wrote paraghraps and paraghraps of what she felt. She was letting all her emotions on paper. After almost an hour of writting, she read over what she wrote. She loved it, it was her best poem yet. She smiled, it was the first real smile she pulled since what happened between Ellie and herself.  
  
*Location: Park.*  
  
Ellie watched Ashley run. What did she do? Did she go after her? What about Marco?  
  
"Ellie...." he touched his lips, "I meant we were really good friends....nothing more.." he looked at her in disbelief, "I told you I was..gay." Ellie cried some more and thought about something for a long time. Finally she hugged him and said in a whisper, "Promise me you'll always be here for me..Whatever I do..You'll always be with me." she closed her eyes and waited for a responce. "El..of course, I love you. I'll always be here for you." He pulled away and smiled. He got up and continued, "Call me tonight ok?" He gave her a wave and walked away.  
  
Ellie sat there, by herself. She was thinking about something serious...She heard the school bell ring. She shook her head and blinked several times. She looked around at the deserted park and got up. She started to walk home slowly..  
  
When she got home, she looked around to see if anyone was home. She was alone. She walked up the stairs and opened the door to her bathroom. She opened a cabinet and looked inside. Pills. She took out a small bottle filled with small candy-like objects which could end her life. She clutched it and closed her eyes. She opened them, her eyes filled with tears.  
  
She walked to her room and wrote a message on a paper which read:  
  
" "Dig my grave, dig it deep,  
Dig it from my head to feet"  
  
Please, Don't Ask Questions..  
Don't Blame Yourself.  
It's my fault....  
Love you all.  
"  
  
She put the note beside her and opened the bottle. She took out a handful and shoved them in her mouth. She gulped them down. 


	8. Curse The Moon

I DO NOT OWN DEGRASSI!!!! But this is still my story...  
  
________________  
  
True Love, Pure Obsession Chapter 8  
  
*Location: Ashley's House.*  
  
Ashley couldn't sleep. She felt so guilty. She had to tell Ellie how sorry she was, she was so angry with herself. There must have been an explination...Marco was gay! The phone rang. She sat up on her bed and stretched. She answered slowly and uttered a small, "Hello?". The person on the other line sounded nervous and devastated. "What?!". Her eyes grew wide. She closed the phone and went and change. She cried. After she finished changing she leaned on her bathroom wall. She slid down and hugged her knees, crying. "Ellie...how could you?" she cried.  
  
She got back up and wiped away her tears. She ran downstairs and wrote a message to her mother explaining everything. She put on her boots and a jacket and walked outside. It was raining. She stood on the sidewalk and looked up at the sky. She cursed outloud and cried again. She walked at the end of her street and looked for a cab. After a few minutes, one came towards her. She got in and hugged herself. She was so cold. "Bring me to the hospital." She spoke softly, sitting back, letting the tears all out.  
  
***  
  
When she got there, the driver decided not to make her pay, he felt sorry for her and knew there was something really wrong. She thanked him and ran out. She walked up to the large doors, a man opened it for her. She smirked and walked in. She made her way to the elevator. Ellie's mom had told her what floor she was on. Ashley pressed the number 5. She waited for a few seconds, and she was there. She got out and ran to room 67.  
  
"Ellie!" she yelled out with sadness. She hugged Ellie's dead body and didn't let go. Ellie's mother took Ashley by the shoulders and brought her close to her. She hugged her and said everything was alright, it was going to turn out ok. But it wasen't...No, it wasen't! Ellie was her best friend! She didn't have the right to do that, she couldn't..no, she couldn't...Ashley felt empty inside, a part of herself had been taken away...and it was all her fault.. 


End file.
